infertility

The Fertility Podcast: What Is Asherman's Syndrome?

I was honoured to guest present an episode of The Fertility Podcast to chat with Emilie Jones-Ransley about our shared experiences of infertility struggles as card-carrying members of ‘The Thin Lining Brigade’.

Emilie shared her experience of Asherman's syndrome - a (rare but devastating) complication of miscarriage surgery, the trials and tribulations of struggling with womb lining issues, and her journey through IVF and surrogacy, as well as discussing the facts and hacks about dealing with tricky lining from the patient’s point of view.

The second half of the episode is an interview with Dr Adrian Lower, an 'A lister' in the Asherman's world (and Emilie's consultant) to discuss Asherman's syndrome from the clinical perspective - to help you better understand how it is caused, how it can be diagnosed and what you need to look out for.⠀

You can listen to the podcast using the player above, or on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Acast and Spotify.

For more information and links to relevant resources, check out the episode show notes.

Tough Love: How to Survive and Thrive with medical infertility

I had the honour of being interviewed by my dear friend Federica Leonardis, who has started a new podcast called Tough Love, where she brings together stories that tell people that life after trauma is possible.

Whether that’s as a victim of circumstances or of the malice of others, this podcast explores how you can still have a marvellous life:

Have you ever wondered how, after tragedy hits, some people are able to move forward and thrive? In each episode of Tough Love, I'll interview a guest who has been through a traumatic experience such as medical infertility, divorce, abuse, the loss of a spouse, addiction, anorexia, a cancer diagnosis, a prison sentence. I will listen to their story and ask questions. I'll concentrate on the strategies and the daily habits they implemented that helped them rebuild their life and move beyond trauma. Tough Love celebrates human resilience, the amazing strength people display every day to live through what life has put in their path and move forward with courage and integrity.

How do you come to terms with the loss of something you never had? In this episode, we spoke about my journey through infertility and pregnancy loss, about the tyranny of hope, the healing power of dark humour and why sometimes hell really is other, well-meaning, people.

You can listen to the show online, on Spotify or Apple Podcasts - and do check out the other episodes for some incredible insights into a wide range of devastating and challenging life experiences.

Period Story Podcast: I Really Wish I Had Paid More Attention To My Cycles When I Was Younger

“Period Story is a podcast where in each episode, I sit down with a guest to talk about their period story, we get behind some of the myths and misconceptions about periods, and so much more.

Each episode features a notable and interesting person talking about their first period, the way they learned about periods and menstrual health, what they know now that they wish they knew back then and everything in between.”
— Period Story Podcast

Thank you to Le’Nise Brothers for inviting me onto Period Story Podcast; a fantastic podcast that does exactly what it says on the tin - really important conversations that take on taboos around menstruation:

Katy shared her journey through infertility and pregnancy loss, what she learned about her body, her inspiration for Uber Barrens Club and of course, the story of her first period.

Katy talks about reading the fabulous Judy Bloom book, Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret? as a period rite of passage. She also shares the moment at the school gate that prompted her mum to make sure she understood the birds and bees 😄

Katy says that she went on the pill because she wanted to control her period and talks about what prompted her to eventually come off the pill and get diagnosed with lean PCOS.

We had a very candid discussion about what this diagnosis meant for her fertility journey at the time, what happened next and why Katy wishes she had paid more attention to her menstrual cycles when she was younger.

Katy says that she started Uber Barrens Club because she only ever saw one narrative of infertility, after people have been successful. She says that she wanted to write a different story and take back the word barren, reclaim it and make this silent sisterhood more visible.

Katy says that you don’t have to do this alone. She believes we should reach out, read up, learn about our bodies and not be afraid to ask questions. I love that!

For more info & a transcript of our conversation check out Period Story Podcast

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CBC Radio Canada: Out In The Open - Inside Infertility

In the CBC London studio

In the CBC London studio

Thank you to CBC Radio Canada for having me on their Out In The Open show, for an episode about infertility - and how it can complicate your sense of self. CBC is the Canadian equivalent of the BBC so I was chuffed to bits when they got in touch!

I chatted with host Piya Chattopadhyay about my experience of infertility, the tension between my identity as a feminist and feeling like a "failure" as a woman, and how why I’m trying to reclaim the word "barren". The show also explores the experiences of male factor infertility and infertility as a woman of colour - they’re really powerful stories and well worth a listen (even if you skip my bit!)

Out In The Open #129 Inside Infertility:

Listen Online: Full episode | My interview segment

Download: CBC.ca | Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts

In Media Res: Representations of Infertility in Comics and Graphic Novels

I’m thrilled to have collaborated with Dr Anna Feigenbaum (Principal Academic in Digital Storytelling) and Alexandra Alberda (PhD researcher in Graphic Medicine) from the Civic Media Hub at Bournemouth University on a project about infertility in Graphic Medicine (the use of comics in medical education and patient care).

In Media Res is an academic blog exploring contemporary approaches to studying media that has theme weeks focusing on particular subjects - we contributed to their Infertility theme week by creating a zine exploring how comics represent the emotional effects of infertility, often nuancing and challenging mainstream media narratives:

Graphic Infertility: Representations of Infertility in Comics and Graphic Novels

A big thank you to participating artists Sarah Glidden, Cara Gormally, Sheila Alexander, Jenell Johnson, and Emily Steinberg for contributing to the zine. Permissions to use images was granted by the artists included; if you would like to use the images please reach out to them via the links provided in the zine.

For more from these artists please see the following works:

Sarah Glidden: Barren

Cara Gormally: We Doubled Down

Sheila Alexander: IF: A Memoir of Infertility

Jenell Johnson: Present/Perfect

Emily Steinberg: Broken Eggs

And thank you to Alex for the wonderful avatar she created of me!

Sky News: Why falling birth rates aren't all down to 'career women'

Following on from the latest figures from the Office of National Statistics showing that the birth rate in England & Wales is at an all time low, I was invited on to Sky News to debunk the myth of the selfish career woman who forgot to have children.

At 11 babies born per 1000 people, this is the lowest birth rate since records started in 1938; driven largely by falling fertility rates, which are also lower than all previous years since records began.

Sky don't make rolling news available on catchup, but here's a fuzzy iPhone version of the interview:

 

And for the quick overview, these were the key points I made:

Childless not Childfree

1 in 5 women aged 45 don't have children, but whilst some are childfree by choice, the majority are childless not-by-choice: some due to infertility (like me), but many are childless-by-circumstance - for a multitude of reasons, such as (amongst many others) not meeting the right partner, meeting the right partner but they didn't want children, not being in a financial position to start a family or having caring responsibilities.

It’s not all about women

The most common reason for having IVF is male factor infertility (37% of IVF cycles are due to sperm issues) - and with sperm counts declining at a catastrophic rate, the notion that falling birth rates are all down to women isn't just reductive, but it's pretty misogynistic.

Falling birthrates - good or bad?

Whilst on the one hand lots of environmental organisations are encouraging people to have fewer children in order to save the planet, on the other hand over half the world's countries are below replacement fertility (the fertility rate needed to maintain a society’s population size is 2.1 children per woman) - meaning they're facing a demographic timebomb, where they're aren't enough younger people of working age to pay for an ageing population, which is why so many countries have government campaigns trying to encourage its citizens to have more babies.

The increasing global population is mainly due to people living longer - not only are birth rates declining in many countries, but as developing countries with high birth rates prosper economically and contraception is more widely available, their birth rates will generally trend downwards. So whilst estimates show the global population is on the increase, it's actually projected to nearly stop growing by the end of the century.

Next time someone makes the typical ‘people having IVF are selfish, the world is overpopulated already’ infertility bingo comment, maybe ask them who’s going to pay for their pension?

Reclaiming barren

We also discussed my mission to reclaim the word ‘barren’ , and why it represents resilience and strength of character, and belonging to a sisterhood of some of the bravest, funniest, most kick-ass women you could ever wish to know.

Fertility education

In a recorded interview which went out in the 7pm bulletin, I spoke about the importance of fertility education to help young people better understand how fertility declines with age, and how it’s crucial that boys understand this as much as girls - because it takes two people to make a baby!

I also highlighted that whilst couples may be emotionally ready to start a family, there are many, many practical barriers that may stand in their way - primarily financial, given high rents, the difficulty of getting on the property ladder, and the lack of affordable childcare. Most of this got cut and didn’t make it into the broadcast, but I think these are really important factors as to why it’s not all about selfish career women!

Defining Abuse in Assisted Reproductive Technology

What are the untold harms of Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART)?

Where does good clinical practice tip over into bad?

Where and how are patients exploited by clinicians and the commercial fertility industry?

These were some of the issues explored at a fascinating workshop about 'Defining abuse in ART', held on 3rd June 2019 , that I was honoured to have been invited to speak at.

The organisers of this event, Dr Nathan Hodson and Prof Susan Bewley, recently published a systematic review of abuse in ART that proposes a typology of the different ways patients may experience mistreatment during fertility treatment - including the exploitation of women (& how this intersects with other disadvantages), unnecessary or ineffective intervention, and avoidable harms to both patient and child.

Bringing together clinicians, bioethicists, social scientists, historians, human rights lawyers and patient advocates (alongside the fantastic Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos: author of Silent Sorority and founder of ReproTechTruths), the goal of the workshop was to examine how professionals and the public can use this idea of ‘abuse in ART’ to question, critique and understand the worst excesses of the IVF industry.

“Patients are often depleted or consumed.

Treatment can use up patients because they buy into the stories sold by company websites.

These websites are glossy and bright and optimistic and often do not fully or faithfully represent patient experiences. I feel this is dishonest and disrespectful to patients.

But is it abuse? ... All I know is I felt deceived, used up, and outraged by supposedly great men. ”
— BMJ - Sexuality, Reproduction, and The Etymology of Abuse

My talk shared insights from the infertility community to explore the patient perspective: because whilst medicine is about evidence and data, the experience of going through fertility treatment is one of hope and heartache - and in order to develop effective safeguards against abuse, clinicians have to better understand the patient mindset, and better empathise with our experience.

It was a really engaging day with so many incredibly smart people, chewing over some really tricky questions - to which are no easy answers, but I'm really looking forward to seeing how this initiative progresses.

For more on this initiative check out

Surviving Mother's Day

Anyone who’s experienced fertility problems will be only too aware of the many grief landmines scattered throughout the year.

There’s the sporadic ones — such as christenings, baby showers, family get togethers. Then there’s the seasonal ones — such as Christmas, or even back to school day or world book day (when social media becomes wall-to-wall proud parents sharing photos of their gorgeous children). Then there’s the big one. The whopper. THE DAY.

I’m talking, of course, about Mother’s Day.

Image by Maria Andrew

A day you so desperately want to be able to celebrate, but fear you never will.

A day that reminds you that you’re excluded from the parents’ club, pressed up against the window peering in from the outside, longing to join in.

A day that reminds you of what you’re missing out on — if that cycle had worked, or you hadn’t miscarried, you’d have a something-year-old child by now, and Mother’s Day would be a day of celebration, not mourning

A day that can be a double whammy for some people — if, like me, you’ve lost your mother, it can feel like the cruellest day of the year, with grief seemingly coming at you from all angles.

3 years ago I was pregnant when Mother’s Day rolled around, and I remember hoping with every fibre of my being that the following year I’d be a card-carrying member of the mummy club.

Sadly, that wasn’t to be — as we found out the following day that our baby had died. I’m still waiting for that membership card to arrive.

#SurvivingMothersDay

It’s really, really shit.

There’s no magic solution for how utterly, horribly shitty it feels.

But for what it’s worth, here’s a few tips that I hope may help to navigate this shittiest of shitty days.

 

Feel all the feels

It’s OK to feel angry. It’s OK to feel jealous of others. It’s OK to feel sorry for yourself. You are not a bad person if you feel like this. You’re human. It’s hard enough already without beating yourself up as well.


Do whatever you need to do

Do whatever you need to do to get through the day. Be kind to yourself.

Indulge in some radical self care.
 
Treat yourself to something self-indulgent. Get a massage, go for a really boozy lunch (preferably somewhere likely to be child free), go away for the weekend.

Or if you want to hide away, and sit in your tracksuit bottoms on the sofa with chocolate and Netflix, that’s totally OK too.


Arm the defences

Short of not leaving the house (tempting), it’s impossible to avoid seeing & hearing about Mother’s Day seemingly every -bloody-where But there are a few tactics that can help to turn down the volume:


Digital detox
Social media. Just don’t go there. Nothing good will come of going on social media on The Day.

Reading joyful #feelingblessed posts of seemingly idyllic Mother’s Day homemade cards & breakfast in bed will not help

Reading posts from mums recounting how they’ve had a crap Mother’s Day & feel unappreciated will not help.

Just switch off & unplug until the coast is clear.


Emails
When it comes to the flurry of Mother’s Day emails (from mailing lists that despite endless GDPR emails you somehow still seem to be subscribed to) promoting gift ideas & discounts, some brands have recognised that this can be a really difficult time of year for many, and given subscribers the chance to opt out of any Mothers Day specific communications

Big shout out to brands like Bloom & Wild and Superdrug

 

(And check out #notomothersdaypr for a great initiative from Berenice @ Walk In Our Shoes to encourage more brands to do the same!)

In the mean time, setting up an email filter to send any message with the word ‘Mother’s Day’ in the subject to Spam can be highly effective!

#YouAreNotAlone

I wish I had words of comfort, but all I can say is to remember that you are not alone — and this too shall pass. If nothing else, once it’s over, you don’t have to worry about it for another 12 months…

My interview on Big Fat Negative podcast

I was so thrilled to have been invited on to the bloody amazing Big Fat Negative podcast to wang on about all things infertility related - I had an absolutely blast with hosts Emma & Gabby, thanks for having me on guys! (Warning - lots of swears. Soz)

For anyone who’s not already familiar with this fabulous podcast, Big Fat Negative is the podcast about IVF, infertility and the trials of trying for a baby. It’s very funny, very moving, very insightful, and (especially when I’m on) extra sweary.

We chatted about the many twists and turns of my IVF journey, baby loss and how I got through it all because of the amazing community of like-minded people who supported her.

Listen online here, or check out on Acast, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts

Fertility Fest 2019: Our Mission - Public Discourse

My latest blog post for Fertility Fest 2019 is the 2nd in a 3-part series about Fertility Fest’s 3 big aims

The second pillar of our social mission is something we're all hugely passionate about - improving the level of public conversation about infertility and reproductive science

Since the first Fertility Fest in 2016, there's been SO much change in public awareness of infertility, and how we talk about it. You only have to look at what's happening in this community - with podcasts such as The Fertility Podcast, Big Fat Negative, The TTC Life Raft, Cat Strawbridge’s #EveryStoryMatters Instagram Lives (amongst many, many other initiatives in this fantastic insta-family) now at the vanguard of tackling the issues around this subject

This post looks at the new taboos that still need to be settled, and the difficult questions we need to ask about how changes in reproductive science are changing the way the human race is going to be made

Issues like genetic technology, surrogacy, donor conception, alternative families and womb transplants - just because we can does that mean we should?

Our Mission: Public Discourse

Please do read the blog post, share and let us know what you think - really hoping to see as many of you as possible at the Fest in Apr/May!