miscarriage

TWGGE - The Worst Girl Gang Ever Podcast

Thank you to Bex & Laura from The Worst Girl Gang Ever (TWGGE), for having me on their podcast to talk about miscarriage and pregnancy loss during Baby Loss Awareness Week 2020.


We had a blast putting the world to rights with a LOT of swearing and laughter (and a most excellent rant about the well-known fertility cure of unicorn piss), as well a frank and honest conversation about the missing stories of those women & couples whose journeys *don't* end with a miracle rainbow baby - and the all-important question 'Will I be OK?'
.
Ours is a club that none of us asked to join, but it means the world when you can speak to other members of that club and know you're not alone.

Check out the episode in the player below, or listen via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Buzzsprout

Misunderstandings Of Miscarriage

1 in 4 women experiences a miscarriage in their life.

I’m one of them.

And I’m proud to have taken part in a fantastic documentary with so many other brave women who are also members of the same club.

Misunderstandings of Miscarriage (MuM) explores the physical, emotional and psychological impacts of miscarriage, and aims to open up a conversation to normalise pregnancy loss and help women to know they don't need to walk this path alone.

I'm so so thrilled to have been a part of it - and to have been given the opportunity to represent the perspective of someone whose journey didn't end with a rainbow baby.

At the moment it's only available in Australia (on streaming service Stan) - but has recently been picked up for international distribution - so watch this space!

In the meantime to find out more please do check out the trailer below, the MuM website, and this review in the Sydney Morning Herald.

 

60 Mins Australia: The Baroness of Barrenness

Last year I filmed an interview for Misunderstandings of Miscarriage, an Australian documentary that explores the physical, emotional and psychological impacts of miscarriage, and aims to open up a conversation to normalise pregnancy loss.

In the run-up to the film’s premiere at the start of Baby Loss Awareness Month, 60 Mins Australia broadcast a feature about pregnancy loss entitled Angel Babies - which I was honoured to take part in.

The full episode is only available to view in Australia, but the network put my bit up on social media (which at least meant I could check if I’d said anything completely idiotic!)

I was relieved to find out that (apart from learning that you need to put WAY more powder on for telly makeup than I thought, hence the mega shiny face) I didn’t disgrace myself on national TV - and mega chuffed to discover that the network had titled the segment ‘The Baroness of Barreness’ (and written a really nice intro blurb!)

Katy Lindemann is a UK blogger and writer who is in high demand as a commentator on pregnancy loss. She had two miscarriages before doctors told her she’d never be able to carry a baby to term. Where others might disappear into shame and grief, Katy has taken on the taboos of miscarriage, laughing at some of its worst myths and tells 60 Minutes reporter Tara Brown she’s on a mission to reclaim the word ‘barren’.

60 Mins: The Baroness of Barrenness, 28 September 2020

You can watch my interview clip above - but for an interesting take on the whole episode, Isy Oderberg has written a great piece on her blog Hard to Bear that’s definitely worth checking out too.

And for more about Misunderstandings of Miscarriage do check out the trailer here - I’m so, so proud to be a part of an actual film, and can’t wait till it’s available outside Australia* so I can show my family.

*and if you ARE in Australia, the doco is available on Stan from 1st October 2020!

The Fertility Podcast: What Is Asherman's Syndrome?

I was honoured to guest present an episode of The Fertility Podcast to chat with Emilie Jones-Ransley about our shared experiences of infertility struggles as card-carrying members of ‘The Thin Lining Brigade’.

Emilie shared her experience of Asherman's syndrome - a (rare but devastating) complication of miscarriage surgery, the trials and tribulations of struggling with womb lining issues, and her journey through IVF and surrogacy, as well as discussing the facts and hacks about dealing with tricky lining from the patient’s point of view.

The second half of the episode is an interview with Dr Adrian Lower, an 'A lister' in the Asherman's world (and Emilie's consultant) to discuss Asherman's syndrome from the clinical perspective - to help you better understand how it is caused, how it can be diagnosed and what you need to look out for.⠀

You can listen to the podcast using the player above, or on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Acast and Spotify.

For more information and links to relevant resources, check out the episode show notes.

Tough Love: How to Survive and Thrive with medical infertility

I had the honour of being interviewed by my dear friend Federica Leonardis, who has started a new podcast called Tough Love, where she brings together stories that tell people that life after trauma is possible.

Whether that’s as a victim of circumstances or of the malice of others, this podcast explores how you can still have a marvellous life:

Have you ever wondered how, after tragedy hits, some people are able to move forward and thrive? In each episode of Tough Love, I'll interview a guest who has been through a traumatic experience such as medical infertility, divorce, abuse, the loss of a spouse, addiction, anorexia, a cancer diagnosis, a prison sentence. I will listen to their story and ask questions. I'll concentrate on the strategies and the daily habits they implemented that helped them rebuild their life and move beyond trauma. Tough Love celebrates human resilience, the amazing strength people display every day to live through what life has put in their path and move forward with courage and integrity.

How do you come to terms with the loss of something you never had? In this episode, we spoke about my journey through infertility and pregnancy loss, about the tyranny of hope, the healing power of dark humour and why sometimes hell really is other, well-meaning, people.

You can listen to the show online, on Spotify or Apple Podcasts - and do check out the other episodes for some incredible insights into a wide range of devastating and challenging life experiences.

Period Story Podcast: I Really Wish I Had Paid More Attention To My Cycles When I Was Younger

“Period Story is a podcast where in each episode, I sit down with a guest to talk about their period story, we get behind some of the myths and misconceptions about periods, and so much more.

Each episode features a notable and interesting person talking about their first period, the way they learned about periods and menstrual health, what they know now that they wish they knew back then and everything in between.”
— Period Story Podcast

Thank you to Le’Nise Brothers for inviting me onto Period Story Podcast; a fantastic podcast that does exactly what it says on the tin - really important conversations that take on taboos around menstruation:

Katy shared her journey through infertility and pregnancy loss, what she learned about her body, her inspiration for Uber Barrens Club and of course, the story of her first period.

Katy talks about reading the fabulous Judy Bloom book, Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret? as a period rite of passage. She also shares the moment at the school gate that prompted her mum to make sure she understood the birds and bees 😄

Katy says that she went on the pill because she wanted to control her period and talks about what prompted her to eventually come off the pill and get diagnosed with lean PCOS.

We had a very candid discussion about what this diagnosis meant for her fertility journey at the time, what happened next and why Katy wishes she had paid more attention to her menstrual cycles when she was younger.

Katy says that she started Uber Barrens Club because she only ever saw one narrative of infertility, after people have been successful. She says that she wanted to write a different story and take back the word barren, reclaim it and make this silent sisterhood more visible.

Katy says that you don’t have to do this alone. She believes we should reach out, read up, learn about our bodies and not be afraid to ask questions. I love that!

For more info & a transcript of our conversation check out Period Story Podcast

Listen in Apple Podcasts

Listen in Spotify

Listen in Stitcher

Listen in Google Podcasts

Baby Loss Awareness Week 2019

This year's Baby Loss Awareness Week was a total whirlwind, a bundle of emotions, and I think I'm still trying to process it all.

Guardian & Daily Mail: The 12 week rule

Things kicked off two days before the start of #BLAW2019 when an article I’d written about miscarriage and the 12 week rule was published in the Guardian on Mon 7th Oct - more about this and how it blew up (becoming a ‘new campaign’. according to Dame Jenni Murray!) in my previous post.

Mourning rituals

The following day, on Tues 8th Oct, I attended the funeral of a dear friend, who’d passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly: the day itself was somewhat of a blur, but on reflection I can’t help but think about mourning her death and celebrating her life juxtaposed with how we commemorate losses for those family members who never joined the family tree.

Tortoise: Why don’t we talk about miscarriage?

Immediately after the funeral I attended a Tortoise ThinkIn event titled Why don't we talk about miscarriage? Tortoise describe their ThinkIn events as ‘the engine of open journalism’:

“A ThinkIn is not another panel discussion. It is a forum for civilised disagreement. Modelled on what we call a ‘leader conference’ in the UK (or an editorial board in the US), it is a place where everyone has a seat at the table. It’s where we get to hear what you think, drawn from your experience, energy and expertise. It’s where, together, we sift through what we know to come to a clear, concise point of view.”
— Tortoise

Editor Polly Curtis reached out to me on Twitter to very kindly invite me to the event after she’d read my article about the 12-week rule - but I only learned afterwards that she has a particularly personal perspective on this subject, having written about her own experience of 8 devastating miscarriages in the Guardian in 2015. She chaired the discussion, featuring 3 terrific special guests

Here’s some highlights from a really inspiring, thought-provoking evening (& a full recording of the event is available here):

A few thoughts from the room, from our ThinkIn: "why don't we talk about miscarriage?"

 

Moncrieff

Then on Thu 10th Oct I was thrilled to be invited onto Moncrieff (apparently one of Ireland's most popular afternoon shows!) on Newstalk FM to discuss the 12-week rule with presenter Seán Moncrieff - you can listen to the interview on the Newstalk website (approx 12 mins - not deliberate!) We spoke about why the 12-week rule is harmful, why I want to change the way we talk about pregnancy loss, and also a little about my own experience of infertility and miscarriage (and why I think it's time to reclaim the word 'barren'!)

 

The cycle of life

In a cruel accident of timing, I was discussing my first miscarriage on national radio on the very day that would have been that baby's due date - and in another life we might have been celebrating a 3rd birthday.

In another life we wouldn’t have been lighting two candles at 7pm on the 15th October, for the global #WaveOfLight, where grieving parents across the world light candles to remember all the babies who have died too soon.

But in this life our journey took a different path. And just as we mourn loss, we celebrate new life. The morning my Guardian article came out, just before the start of #BLAW2019, I received the most wonderful (and unexpected) news from my brother. My beautiful nephew had come into the world 4 weeks early, and I was now an aunt. I am utterly besotted and overwhelmed with love for this tiny human, and so overjoyed he is safely here.

A microcosm of life in one week - birth, death, memories, new experiences, happy, sad and everything in between. Life, eh?

Tommy's: Tell Me Why

So lovely to catch up with @jenniemonologues, @mrskmeaks & @thisisalicerose

So lovely to catch up with @jenniemonologues, @mrskmeaks & @thisisalicerose

Thank you to Tommy's for inviting me to the launch of their Tell Me Why campaign, calling for more research into the causes of miscarriage, stillbirth and premature birth.

A shocking 71% of parents are not told why their baby has died in pregnancy or has been born prematurely - and in many cases, doctors simply don’t know why it’s happening.

“Without a medical reason for their stillbirth, miscarriage or premature birth 82% of women worry that it was caused by something they did.”
 

WHY we need more #PregnancyResearch

We need more research and investment in reproductive health.

Stillbirth, miscarriage and premature birth, in contrast to most other medical conditions, are linked to deep feelings of guilt and failure in women.

The lack of medical explanation for pregnancy complications and loss underpins this self-blame.

Not knowing WHY leaves parents feeling alone, powerless and full of worry for future pregnancies.

Tommy’s research proves that we can find answers and prevent babies from dying before, during and after birth.

But we need to know more and do more.

We need to be able to tell many more parents why it happened to them and how we can prevent it happening again.

Parents deserve to know WHY it happened. Only then can it be prevented in the future.

 

#TellMeWhy miscarriage happens

As a patient, I was honoured to visit The Miscarriage Clinic at the Biomedical Research Unit in Reproductive Health at University Hospital, Coventry - which is part of the Tommy's National Centre for Miscarriage Research -the UK’s first national centre dedicated to miscarriage research). Prof Jan Brosens and Prof Siobhan Quenby specialise in researching the role of the endometrium (womb lining) in implantation and miscarriage - which is the very issue that is the root cause of my infertility.

Sadly the issues with my endometrium were too severe to be overcome: Prof Brosens told me I was ‘the weirdest case’ he’d ever seen, and that there was no point in continuing treatment, as my womb was simply unable to support a pregnancy.

But the samples of my womb lining that were taken during my visits to the Coventry clinic contributed to the body of research to understand the role of the endometrium in infertility and miscarriage.

And it’s this research which has informed the development of three key checkpoints on which a successful pregnancy depend, as outlined in this brilliant animation:

Although I never ended up with my rainbow baby, I’m so proud to have perhaps contributed in some small part to the incredibly important research that Tommy’s are doing.

Prof Quenby gave the most incredible talk at the event, highlighting some of the key developments and innovations being developed out of her clinic, which are already saving babies lives.

 

#TogetherForChange

Pregnancy loss isn’t ‘just one of those things’.

1 in 4 people will lose a baby during pregnancy or have a premature birth.

It’s not OK that so many parents cannot be told why their baby died. It’s simply not good enough to say ‘It wasn’t meant to be’.

Please, please check out Tommy’s #TellMeWhy campaign hub, watch the films, share the message, and talk, talk, talk about miscarriage, so we can challenge these misconceptions and fight for more research.

Observer Book Review: The Brink of Being

I was honoured to be asked to review Julia Bueno’s fantastic new book about miscarriage 'The Brink of Being’ for the Observer.

It’s estimated that one in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage, and yet it’s an experience that remains largely ignored  –  a grief that the world seemingly doesn’t know how to talk about. In The Brink of Being, psychotherapist Julia Bueno draws on her own personal experience, stories from her consulting room, and interactions with experts, to examine miscarriage within its broader cultural, medical and historical context  – encouraging us to think more, and think differently, about pregnancy loss.

It’s incredibly moving, and I’d recommend it to anyone who’s been affected by miscarriage, or who would like to better support someone else who has.

You can read the full review here.


The WRISK Project: Does oral sex prevent miscarriage?

The WRISK project is a fantastic initiative from the British Pregnancy Advisory Service (BPAS) - in collaboration with Heather Trickey at the School of Social Sciences at Cardiff University & the Wellcome Trust - that's aiming to improve communication of risk messages relating to pregnancy:

“Women who are planning a pregnancy or who are pregnant receive many public health messages that are intended to guide their decision making.

For example, they receive advice about what to eat, drink, how much they should weigh, and what medications they should or shouldn’t take. These messages are intended to improve outcomes for babies and mothers.

However, there is growing concern that messages do not always fully reflect or explain the evidence base underpinning them, and that negotiating the risk landscape can sometimes feel confusing, overwhelming, and disempowering.

This may negatively affect women’s experiences of pregnancy and motherhood, and be exacerbated by a wider culture of parenting that tends to blame mothers for all less-than-ideal outcomes in their children.”
 

#blowjobgate

And this set of crazy headlines - reporting the findings of a recently-published study that suggested that ‘Regularly swallowing your partner's semen could protect against miscarriage’ - couldn’t be more confusing, overwhelming, and disempowering.

Because what discussion of an incredibly painful topic such as pregnancy loss needs, is jokes about giving head…

And creating even more guilt and shame for women who are already likely to be blaming themselves for their losses, with manipulative pressure to perform sex acts.

Initially I assumed this was ‘just’ lazy, clickbait journalism, or an April fool - but it turned out to be a genuine study from researchers at the University of Leiden, published in the Journal of Reproductive Immunology.

I took to Twitter and posted some incisive commentary on this story…

(Nah, of course I didn’t - I took to Twitter and posted a massive rant about what a load of emotionally manipulative bullshit it was)

…and asked fertility experts weigh in with their thoughts on the (in)validity of this study.

The team at the WRISK Project saw my thread (<cough> rant), and got in touch with me to ask me if I’d be up for writing a guest post about this tabloid frenzy - which I jokingly started referring to as #blowjobgate - for their blog.

Which I did.

And you can read the full piece here: The WRISK Project: Does oral sex prevent miscarriage?

 

The TL;DR version

If you can't be bothered to read the article, here's the TL;DR:

  • No, blowjobs do not prevent miscarriages

  • Swallowing semen is not a cure for pregnancy loss

  • This study is misogynistic garbage

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk

 

The response

The experts who weighed into the discussion on Twitter were universally critical of the study, and expressed serious concerns about the review process that led to this being published by a supposedly reputable journal (which you can read about in the full piece) .

I was absolutely terrified that as a non-scientist I was going to get something really, badly wrong - so the positive response to the article from the likes of BMJ Sexual & Reproductive Health was incredibly gratifying:

I’m so angry that such bad science, causing so much pain and distress, was published in the first place - here’s hoping that they don’t get funding for a follow up study…