BARREN
1 : not reproducing: such as
a : incapable of producing offspring —used especially of females or matings - a barren woman
b : not yet or not recently pregnant
c of plants : habitually failing to fruit - barren apple trees
2: not productive: such as
a : producing little or no vegetation : desolate - barren deserts
b : producing inferior crops - barren soil
c : unproductive of results or gain : fruitless - a barren scheme
3: devoid, lacking - barren of excitement
4: lacking interest or charm - a barren routine
5: lacking inspiration or ideas - a barren mind
Barren. It's a really emotive word. There's nothing positive about any meaning of the word, is there?
(If you want to get even more depressed, check out its synonyms - including such delights as 'infertile', 'sterile', 'unproductive', 'impotent', 'bleak', 'inhospitable', and 'lifeless')
1 in 7 couples experience trouble conceiving. 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. Infertility and pregnancy loss are sadly very, very common.
But amongst these couples are those whose journeys can be longer, more challenging, and more unsuccessful than others.
We're not just infertile. We're really, really infertile. We're barren.
UBER
1: being a superlative example of its kind or class : super-
übernerd
2: to an extreme or excessive degree : super-
übercool
But the silver lining I take out of my experience of infertility and pregnancy loss, is the incredible community of barren women that I've had the privilege to become a part of.
Women who have reclaimed the word 'barren'. Who show that we barren women are strong, and courageous, rather than devoid or lacking.
Uber barren women who are indeed a superlative example of our kind
“Under pressure she became a diamond
Under pressure she became unbreakable ”
UBER BARRENS CLUB
These are women I've come to know in infertility forums and Facebook groups, or through friends of friends - most of whom I've never met. Many of whom I know by username only. Some of whom who've become dear real-life friends. All of whom who've kept me going in the darkest times.
Uber Barrens Club isn't a specific forum or group - it's the wider community of people who get it.
People who can empathise with what it's really like to be excluded from the parents' club, peering in from the outside, desperately wanting to join in. People who you can be open with - who acknowledge that it's really really shit, really really gruelling, and really really unfair.
You don't want anyone else to have to become a member of Uber Barrens Club. But it means the world to understand that you're not alone.
So that's why I decided to write this book.