uber barrens club

Metro: Women are reclaiming the word ‘barren’ to talk about their fertility issues

Barren has been used for centuries to stigmatise childless women as inferior and worthless members of society, often shunned as witches, their barrenness a sign of physical and moral deficiency.

But in various pockets of the internet, women on infertility forums can be found jokingly referring to ourselves as barren – instead of passively accepting its negative connotations, we’re re-appropriating it as an empowering identity label.

So proud to have contributed to this brilliant article in Metro about my mission to reclaim the word 'barren' and why it represents resilience and strength of character, and belonging to a sisterhood of some of the bravest, funniest, most kick-ass women you could ever wish to know.

I might have blubbed a bit when I read that the author had spoken to some women in a PCOS support group about reclaiming 'barren', and that a newly diagnosed woman said that coming across this website had moved her to tears:

I’m newly diagnosed, sort of getting past the sad bit and looking at language/strategies to help me deal with it.

I just read the Uber Barrens Club homepage and I’m in tears. This is EXACTLY what I’ve been looking for.
 

Share your story

I’m currently trying to write a book that challenges the fantasy infertility narrative of endless positivity and happy endings, by sharing real women’s stories about what it’s really like to struggle with infertility and pregnancy loss. It’s a club that no-one wants to join: but knowing that you’re not alone can provide solace and support in the darkest times.

My goal is to represent as many different perspectives as possible: if you’ve experienced infertility or pregnancy loss — whether your journey is current or past, whether successful or not — I’d be honoured if you’d consider sharing your story anonymously.

The Times: The pros and cons of online fertility forums

Understanding Fertility’ was a special report published in The Times on 27th March 2019, exploring a wide range of topics around fertility - including a feature about the pros and cons of online infertility forums to which I contributed.

I shared a lot of thoughts with the writer, singing the praises of the online communities that have kept me going throughout my journey - women who’ve kept me going in the darkest times, my fellow members of the club that no one wants to join.

As is often the way, only a snippet of the interview made it into print, and predictably the one quote that was selected has been included in the ‘against fertility forums’ section!

This article is a great overview - but I just want to set the record straight that my personal experience of online fertility forums has been overwhelmingly positive. The privilege of getting to know so many incredible women, across a number of different online communities - who’ve provided such immense sisterhood, solidarity and support - has been the silver lining I take from a very dark cloud.

My interview with The Fertility Podcast

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I was deeply honoured to have been invited onto The Fertility Podcast to record an interview about my infertility journey, the importance of finding your tribe for support (from other members of the club no one wants to join), and what I’m hoping to achieve with this book project (and how you can contribute by sharing your story)

The podcast went live today - fittingly on the first day of National Fertility Week , supporting this year’s theme #YouAreNotAlone

Thank you so much to Natalie at The Fertility Podcast for having me on: I really enjoyed our chat, and can’t wait to come back in a few months with updates about all the amazing stories you wonderful people are sharing.

You can listen to the podcast here, or find it on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher or Acast

And there are full details of the show notes here: The Fertility Podcast EP 158: The Notebook of Doom

Hope you enjoy! If you want to get in touch about anything in the podcast, just drop me a line, I’d love to hear from you.