(Merriam Webster)

1 : not reproducing: such as
a : incapable of producing offspring —used especially of females or matings - a barren woman
b : not yet or not recently pregnant
c of plants habitually failing to fruit - barren apple trees

2not productive: such as
a producing little or no vegetation desolate - barren deserts
b producing inferior crops - barren soil
c : unproductive of results or gain fruitless - a barren scheme

3: devoid, lacking - barren of excitement

4: lacking interest or charm - a barren routine

5: lacking inspiration or ideas - a barren mind


Barren. It's a really emotive word. There's nothing positive about any meaning of the word, is there? 

(If you want to get even more depressed, check out its synonyms - including such delights as 'infertile', 'sterile', 'unproductive', 'impotent', 'bleak', 'inhospitable', and 'lifeless')

1 in 6 couples experience trouble conceiving. Infertility and pregnancy loss are sadly very, very common.  

But amongst those couples are those whose journeys can be longer, more challenging, and more unsuccessful than others.

We're not just infertile. We're really, really infertile. We're barren.



(Merriam Webster)

1being a superlative example of its kind or class super- 

  • übernerd

2to an extreme or excessive degree super- 

  • übercool

But the silver lining I take out of my experience of infertility and pregnancy loss, is the incredible community of  barren women that I've had the privilege to become a part of.

Women who have reclaimed the word 'barren'.  Who show that we barren women are strong, and courageous, rather than devoid or lacking.

Über barren women who are indeed a superlative example of our kind.

Under pressure she became a diamond
Under pressure she became unbreakable
— R.H.Sin


These are women I've come to know in infertility forums and Facebook groups, or through friends of friends - most of whom I've never met. Many of whom I know by username only. Some of whom who've become dear real-life friends. All of whom who've kept me going in the darkest times. 

This hidden community of über barrens is full of incredible wit, humour, and kindness.  And full of amazing, heartbreaking, inspirational stories.  Stories that don't get told, because everyone only wants to hear the success stories.

So this book, and blog, are for all the members of über barrens club.