Metro: The craziest things I did in the name of infertility

HAVE YOU TRIED…

My fourth article for Metro’s Fertility Diaries series is about infertility madness - the debate over add-ons, and the crazy lengths that many infertility patients go to in pursuit of trying to have a baby.

It also features a rather fetching illustration whereby I’m immortalised in cartoon form alongside some viagra tablets and a tube of fertility lube (bet this article is going to do SEO for my name a world of good!!). I’ve only just managed to work out what the disembodied floating hand is - I think it’s someone with an acupuncture needle (although maybe I do have a massive third hand and have never noticed)

As you’ll know if you’ve ever experienced infertility or pregnancy loss, another infertility bingo classic is ‘have you tried….’ (usually followed by either ‘blatantly obvious suggestion’ or ‘miracle woo healing therapy that their sister’s neighbour tried’)

If a well-meaning-but-clueless friend/colleague starts the ‘have you tried…’ game with me, whilst very well intentioned, I inwardly take a deep breath, as I’m thinking ‘mate, I promise you I WILL win the ‘have you tried?’ game!

This article is a light-hearted look at some of the crazy lengths that I - and a number of other women (it’s not just me who’s lost the plot) - went to in the name of infertility. This is just a highlight of a long list of wacky infertility adventures - safe to say there’s a lot more where those came from!

Including such highlights as:

  • me pretending to be a middle-aged man with erectile dysfunction on the internet

  • my (short) career as an international drug trafficker

  • blessings by a Buddhist monk with a wooden phallus in the mountains of Bhutan 

  • a litany of fertility woo therapies

  • a whole host of other women's mad infertility adventures  



HAVE YOUR SAY

Are you fed up of being asked ‘have you tried’? What’s the craziest thing you’ve tried during your infertility journey?

I’m writing a book that challenges the fantasy infertility narrative of endless positivity and happy endings, by sharing real women’s (and men’s) stories about what it’s really like to struggle with infertility and pregnancy loss.

My goal is to represent as many different perspectives as possible: if you’ve experienced infertility or pregnancy loss — whether your journey is current or past, whether successful or not — I’d be honoured if you’d consider sharing your story anonymously.

Metro: It’s not just down to infertile couples to solve the adoption crisis

Why don’t you just adopt

My third article for Metro’s Fertility Month series examines how It’s not just down to infertile couples to solve the adoption crisis

Anthony Douglas, head of Cafcass (the public body representing children in care), said in a recent interview with the Daily Telegraph that the growing success of IVF has meant fewer people will consider adopting children:

IVF used to be around 7% successful and now it’s around 30%.

So as a choice, adoption is competing with lots of other ways of having children.

My biggest bugbear with the ‘it’s all the fault of selfish IVF couples’ argument (amongst many) is that it positions the adoption crisis as an issue that’s solely down to people with fertility problems to solve.

IVF isn’t a quick and easy fix either to conception, or to solving the adoption crisis - and it doesn’t help solve the latter to pretend it does.

Adoption is about finding homes for children, not children for infertile couples. And pretending that if selfish infertile couples stopped having IVF the problem would get sorted does a disservice to infertile couples, and to children in care.

This article is deliberately provocative, as I’ve tried to challenge the hypocrisies around this issue straight on - because I’m frankly fed up of the IVF bashing (and the perpetual double standards for infertile vs fertile couples.)

Infertile couples are asked ‘why don’t you just adopt?’

To which I would respond, ‘Why didn’t you just adopt?’


Have your say

Are you fed up of being told ‘why don’t you just adopt?’

I’m writing a book that challenges the fantasy infertility narrative of endless positivity and happy endings, by sharing real women’s (and men’s) stories about what it’s really like to struggle with infertility and pregnancy loss.

My goal is to represent as many different perspectives as possible: if you’ve experienced infertility or pregnancy loss — whether your journey is current or past, whether successful or not — I’d be honoured if you’d consider sharing your story anonymously.

Metro: Why treatment for male infertility is failing both men and women

Men matter too

My second article for Metro’s Fertility Month series examines how treatment for male infertility is failing both men and women

Men are massively overlooked in the fertility experience more generally: but the inadequate care for male infertility - inadequate diagnosis, meaning inadequate treatment - is also harming women, as ICSI treatment bypasses the male problem to treat the issue in the woman’s body.

Normally I rail against articles which focus on the miracle baby success stories, but in this instance these examples - real examples, from real couples - were pretty critical for the overall argument (spoiler alert: that if treatable problems were diagnosed and treated, this might increase the chances of success, or eliminate the need for invasive ICSI altogether.) These stories are used to demonstrate tangible examples where proper care has made a tangible difference to the outcome. Which I hope will spark discussion and debate!

It’s an issue that’s woefully ignored in both public discourse and within the fertility industry itself - so I hope that this article will help to encourage more open conversations about this issue.

Male infertility is a growing problem on a global scale — so when are clinicians going to start taking it more seriously?
 

Have your say

I’m writing a book that challenges the fantasy infertility narrative of endless positivity and happy endings, by sharing real women’s (and men’s) stories about what it’s really like to struggle with infertility and pregnancy loss. My goal is to represent as many different perspectives as possible — including the male perspective.

If as a couple you’ve experienced infertility or pregnancy loss (regardless of which partner has received the infertility diagnosis, if any)— whether your journey is current or past, whether successful or not — I’d be honoured if you’d consider sharing your story anonymously.

There are questionnaires for both the female and male perspective — and I’d particularly love to hear more from the guys!

Metro: How to support someone with fertility problems

I’m really excited to have the opportunity to write for Metro’s Fertility Month series: the first article is about how to support a friend or loved on struggling with infertility or pregnancy loss.

There's lots of articles about what not to say (aka infertility bingo), but Metro wanted something that offered guidance for what you should say or do instead. They commissioned me to write this piece based on the hundreds of responses to my anonymous questionnaire for women (and men) to share their stories, - specifically, to the question that asks respondents what advice you would give to anyone who's supporting a friend or loved one with fertility problems.

There's no universal right or wrong thing to say or do, but these suggestions are based on the answers of several hundred different women, so they're hopefully at least a pretty decent start.

These are just a couple of highlights:

Say ‘I’m sorry’ Give us a hug and say ‘I’m so sorry’
Do not try to solve the problem There’s nothing you can say or do to fix this, so stop trying to do so.
Just listen & acknowledge our distress.

Don’t feel you have to do anything other than listen.
Don’t tell us what to do or what to think or what to feel.

Just listen to us, and allow us to be sad and angry at how unfair life is. Be there, let us know you care, that you’re there, and that you want to understand our feelings and needs. Acknowledge that it’s an unimaginably cruel situation and let us offload


HAVE YOUR SAY

My goal for this book project is to represent as many different perspectives as possible .

If as a couple you’ve experienced infertility or pregnancy loss (regardless of which partner has received the infertility diagnosis, if any)— whether your journey is current or past, whether successful or not — I’d be honoured if you’d consider sharing your story anonymously.

If any of these ‘infertility bingo’ comments strike a chord and you’d like to get something off your chest, or suggest some advice of your own, I’d love to hear from you!

Speaking on LBC about infertility and miscarriage

I was listening to the Maajid Nawaz show on LBC on Sat 10th Nov, where he had a segment on infertility and miscarriage - following Michelle Obama’s interview where she revealed her own experience of IVF and miscarriage, and her feelings of isolation and shame.

He posed lots of questions to listeners for the phone-in: including whether we agreed with Mrs Obama that women did indeed suffer in silence - as well as the issue of delayed childbearing and egg freezing for women who wanted to prioritise their careers.

I called in while the fantastic Ruth Bender-Atik from the Miscarriage Association was on the line, and the researcher put me directly through to have my say.

Here’s the recording of my call - where you can hear me talking about:

  • the fact that even when people do talk about their infertility struggles or miscarriages, it’s almost always after they’ve been successful - because society doesn’t want to accept that not all problems are fixable (and as a result there’s a belief that IVF is a sure-fire guarantee)

  • challenging him about the reasons why women freeze their eggs - as the no 1 reason women freeze their eggs is because they’ve not met the right partner, not because they’re 'selfish career women’

  • why I’d recommend counselling and finding your tribe if you’re going through similar struggles

10th Nov 2018 - Maajid Nawaz show on LBC - a segment on infertility and miscarriage, following Michelle Obama’s interview revealing how women suffered in silence. I called in to add my perspective on this issue (and also to challenge his suggestion that women were freezing their eggs to enable them to delay childbearing to prioritise their careers...)

#BloomFest: The Secret Self

I was honoured to be invited to speak on a panel at BloomFest on 8th November, bringing together my work life and my infertility life - this was truly ‘coming out of the closet’!

BloomFest is a one-day conference and the flagship event for the Bloom network, a professional network for women in communications. The theme for 2018 was ‘Fighting Our Fictions: Challenging myths within the industry’, with proceeds from the day supporting Women’s Aid

We believe that myths within our industry are barriers to women realising their ambitions. Accepted fictions about power, privilege, pay, parenthood and beyond, become the basis upon which the industry is built and influence how women shape ourselves and our careers. At BloomFest 2018, we will uncover and meet these fictions head on, challenging the narratives woven into the workplace and ourselves in order to drive real change.

It was daunting and thrilling to be on the bill alongside incredible women in the industry (keynotes were delivered by Dame Carolyn McCall and feminist campaigner Caroline Criado Perez), and it was a fantastic and inspirational day

I took part in a panel about the Secret Self, about hiding invisible struggles at work - concealing who we are, or what we face, in order to project a professional image of ambition and perfection. I was honoured to speak alongside some amazing women from my industry (Helen Calcraft, Founding Partner, Lucky Generals; Jan Gooding, Chair, Stonewall UK & President, Marketing Research Society; Charlie Hunt, Head of New Business, Digitas UK; Namrata Dhadialla, Associate Director, MediaCom; moderated by Victoria Brooks, Sustainability Strategy Director & Head of Programmes, Bloom) discussing issues including sexual harassment, cancer, mental health, sexuality, bereavement - and infertility & pregnancy loss.

Whilst the other sessions were filmed and tweeted, our session was kept private to respect people exposing their vulnerabilities - but what was very clear was that whatever we see on the surface, we never know what someone else might be going through. I was the nominated ‘infertility and pregnancy loss’ speaker, but I wasn’t the only one on the panel who’d gone through multiple rounds of IVF. I spoke to lots of different women during the day, and many revealed their own struggles.

Confessions from ‘The Booth of Truth’

Confessions from ‘The Booth of Truth’

Attendees were encouraged to share their anonymous confessions about their own experiences within the industry around key themes of the day; which were then posted on boards and shared with the audience.

These included:

When your CEO tells you that he only hires ‘pretty blonde girls’ and then regularly invites female employees back to his hotel for champagne.
If a woman does call out a man for sexual harassment, she will never be able to find a job again.
I came back to work recently, six months after having my baby. Because, to keep my role, I had to. In hindsight, it was too early and I cried in secret, not being able to continue breastfeeding.
I lost my first daughter, she was stillborn. I left my job as no-one knew how to ‘deal’ with me after my loss.

The last of these was utterly heartbreaking, and it’s exactly why we need to talk more openly about pregnancy loss - so that those who suffer devastating losses are supported, not awkwardly ignored.

Within the workplace - and outside of it as well - there are plenty of #EverydayActions that we can all embrace to help us thrive, not just survive: wisdom that I know I’ll try to carry with me:

WISE UP

  1. Be proud and wear your scars: they make you you.

  2. Know it takes more energy to hide than to flourish.

  3. Understand you are not alone in your struggles, your fears, and your experiences.

  4. Mistakes happen; learn and move on from them.

  5. Remember diversity is more than just skin deep.

  6. Don’t try to emulate others: be the best version of yourself.

  7. Respect that people respond to challenges differently.

  8. Remember judgement from others is often rooted in jealousy.

  9. Know perfectionism can lead to paralysis; learn to let the little things go.

  10. Recognise you can do it all; just not at the same time, unless you don a cape.


EYES UP

  1. Take time to think about what success looks like for you: create your career map once you know your destination.

  2. Play to your strengths: harness what you are good at to grow your gravitas.

  3. Avoid the ‘just’ trap

  4. Use language and body language to have more impact.

  5.  Make time for training.

  6. Step outside your comfort zone: challenge should be positive, not negative.

  7. Focus on producing quality work not putting in hours: if your work is done, go home.

  8. Invest in yourself: you can’t pour from an empty cup.

  9.  Learn to delegate in every aspect of your life – work and home.

  10. Surround yourself with people who lift you up – team, sponsors, mentors.

  11. Don’t say yes to things when you want to say no; saying no is the best skill you’ll ever learn.


RISE UP

  1. Give those who are under-represented a step up so they can be heard.

  2. Call it out if you witness unsavoury behaviour, if you think there is a lack of representation in the room or if you feel something is not right.

  3. Create a safe environment for your teams.

  4. Demand blind CVs.

  5. Talk to your male colleagues: we cannot thrive if we only talk in the echo chamber.

You can find out more about your rights at work whilst struggling with infertility and pregnancy loss in my post about Fertility at Work

Guardian: I’m a feminist. So why does infertility make me feel like a failure?

I wrote an article for The Guardian published on World Fertility Day, during UK Fertility Week about the impact of infertility on my female identity.

Read the full story here:

I’m a feminist. So why does infertility make me feel like a failure?


Reactions

Unlike my previous Guardian op-ed about miscarriage, this article did have comments enabled - obviously there were the predictable ‘why don’t you just adopt’ comments, but there were some thoughtful and compassionate comments also, that I thought worth highlighting:









It was a really challenging, but very rewarding piece to write - if this has struck a chord, I’d be honoured if you’d consider sharing your story

#FertilityAtWork - The impact of infertility on your career, and the challenges of combining fertility treatment and work

This week is UK Fertility Week and today the theme is #FertilityAtWork

Infertility can affect every aspect of your life: physically, emotionally, romantically, financially, socially — professionally.

The impact of infertility on a woman’s career is often overlooked, and shouldn’t be underestimated.

(Both men and women suffer from infertility, and both men and women go through infertility treatment together as a couple: but it’s the female partner who experiences the physical side of treatment — as well as any subsequent pregnancy or pregnancy loss — therefore I’m focusing primarily on the impact of infertility on women in this instance).

We know infertility is really common — in the UK it’s 1 in 6 couples.

As is miscarriage — an estimated 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage.

Really, really common. But how many people who’ve experienced this have done so in silence — not even telling friends, let alone work?

#FertilityFellas: a brief history of male infertility

spermracing-10-ways-to-increase-male-fertility-by-healthista.com_-1.jpg

This week is UK Fertility Week — and today’s theme is #FertilityFellas.

Fertility is not solely a female issue — men are half the fertility equation too, but are often ignored. To understand a bit more about how we got to this point, I thought it would be interesting to take a trip down memory lane, and have a look at some highlights in the history of male factor infertility.

Let’s jump back a few hundred years…


Don’t be silly, of course men don’t have fertility issues — it’s the woman who’s barren

barren woman.jpg

Fertility and virility have historically been central to masculinity —so to be impotent or infertile was to be a failure as a man. So it’s not surprising that in years gone by, any inability to conceive was blamed on the woman — as long as the man wasn’t impotent, he was assumed to be fertile.

Daniel Sennert summed this up in his 1664 page-turner Practical Physick; The Fourth Book:

Hence we may gather, that Barrenness is oftner from a fault in the women then the men: for in men there is nothing required but fruitful Seed spent into a fruitful womb.


Jolly good — so as long as he got his rocks off, job done. If babies didn’t immediately spring forth it was definitely his barren wife’s fault.

Unsurprisingly, blokes were pretty happy with this theory, so it becomes a bit of a recurrent theme…

No doubt for James McMath in his 1694 banger The Expert Mid-wife: A Treatise of the Diseases of Women with Child:

‘the vile Imputation of Barrenness, rests almost, solely upon them [i.e. women]’

Or William Salmon in his 1686 blockbuster Systema Medicinale, A Compleat System of Physick, Theoretical and Practical :

‘Here we shall only examine Barrenness, so far as it concerns a Woman alone.’


One of my favourite examples of the ‘nope, definitely not the man, it’s absolutely, definitely the woman who’s got the problem’ assumption is US President George Washington. He and his wife Martha were happily married but “mystified why, year after year, he and Martha could produce no Washington heir”. Obviously as the leader of a great nation, there couldn’t possibly be any question of his virility, so the issue evidently had to lie with Martha.

Except that Martha was a widow, and had given birth to 4 children with her late husband before she married George.

So, er, yeah, the woman with 4 kids is definitely the infertile one…


Alright, maybe the male partner might be worth checking out, just to be sure

male-inf.jpg

Whilst the barren women assumption dominated, the notion that the problem might lie with the male partner wasn’t totally inconceivable (no pun intended).

In his study of barrenness in The Hidden Treasures of the Art of Physick (1659) surgeon John Tanner stated that there might be merit in considering male infertility

Before you try these uncertain conclusions upon the Woman, examine the man, and see if the fault be not in him.


The 1668 edition of Lazarus Riverius’s Practice of Physick went further by acknowledging that failure to consider the possibility of male factor could inflict unnecessary treatments on the female partner:

‘diligently consider and inquire, whether Conception and Generation be not hindered by fault of the Man, or any deficiency in him. For in such a Case, It were vainly done to torment the Woman with a multitude of Medicines.


The contribution of sperm quantity and quality to successful conception was recognised even in 1662:

‘the mans Seed, when it is not sufficient in quantity, or fit for Generation; and though a Woman receives it, either there is no Procreation, or its in vain’


And varicoceles had been identified as a possible root cause of male factor infertility as early as 1687

They who have their Testicles varicous are barren, because the Spirits of Generation pass to the Varices, and so leave the Seed unfruitful, being deprived of Spirits’


It’s clear that there was in fact a relatively sophisticated level of understanding of male factor infertility, even in the 17th century — but that there was little appetite to attribute any blame to the male.


OK, so how can we test for male factor?

If a man was willing to have his virility challenged, there were a couple of ways of investigating male infertility:


Male vs female fertility blame game

In 1545 one handy midwifery guide advised that both partners should pee into a pot that had been planted with barley, and whichever seed sprouted first demonstrated the fertility of the person who had watered it.

Or for a more rapid-turnaround test result: both parties would pee on a lettuce leaf, and the person whose urine evaporated from the leaf first was thought to be infertile.

Urine + horticulture — they both sound pretty bulletproof fertility tests, no?

Solo male testing (strap in for this one)

image by Matt Hoffman on Unsplash

But wait, there’s even a fertility test for the blokes in their own right.

Instead of knocking one out in a clinic masturbatorium, yep, you’ve guessed it — it’s pee-in-a-pot time again.

But be prepared, it’s a doozy.

In his 1605 smash hit, The General Practise of Physicke, Christopher Wirtzung suggested this approach to determining a man’s fertility:

‘let him pisse in a pot, and let the urine stand awhile, if wormes grow therein, then is that urine barren’


WTF?!!

Leave your warm piss in a cup and see if any worms start growing? If worms grow in your piss then I think you’ve got more than subfertility going on to worry about!

And let’s face it, the likelihood of worms magically emerging seems somewhat slim (at least, you’d hope so). Therefore the man was guaranteed to pass with flying colours regardless.

Bonus male fertility top tip

image by Sam Truong Dan on Unsplash

Whilst reading up on the history of male infertility, I ended up down some pretty freaky rabbit holes, discovering certain stuff I can never un-see.

And now I’m going to share this delightful fertility sex tip with you too.

Jane Jackson’s recipe book included a fertility enhancing remedy that had to be applied to the male genitalia:

‘Take the braine of a crane and medle it with ganders grease and fox greaseand keepe it in a vessell of silver or of gould and at what time thou wold have knowledge annoynt therewith thy yard and shee shall conceave’.


Right, so kill a crane, mix up its brain with some goose and fox grease, smush it together and smear it on your cock, BOOM. Up the duff.

Suddenly those fertility lubes like Pre-Seed are looking remarkably appealing in comparison…


We’ve invented semen analysis! But nah, let’s not bother with it, it’s probably a waste of time

image by Ousa Chea on Unsplash

image by Ousa Chea on Unsplash

So in the 1860s, American gynaecologist James Marion Sims is investigating ‘sterile marriages’ and decides to have a quick look at a semen sample under the microscope. And, wait for it…..he can now see ACTUAL sperm with his own eyes! Voila, the semen analysis is born. Examination of sperm count, motility and morphology is now possible. No more peeing on lettuce leaves.

Zoom forward a few years: in 1945 the Family Planning Association (FPA) opens a dedicated seminological centre — Britain’s first purpose-built laboratory for investigating semen samples.

It was established in part specifically to help women, by sparing them from ‘unnecessary operative procedures’ — when it was the husband who was ‘partly or even wholly responsible’ for the couple’s infertility.

Awesome! Finally infertility is treated as a couple’s issue!

Er, not quite.

One medical journal reports the case of a couple who were struggling to conceive, and over the course of 2 years, the woman underwent:

  • 2 D&C operations

  • a tubal insufflation

  • a salpingogram

  • an endometrial biopsy

  • a host of tablets, injections and vaginal douches

Only after all this invasive treatment was unsuccessful did someone suggest that perhaps her husband’s fertility should be tested.

One simple semen analysis later & the verdict is in.

Not a single sperm was found in the sample. Not one.

Neither in any of the subsequent repeat tests.

Every single procedure the woman endured was thus totally pointless — all because male factor simply wasn’t a priority.


Let’s deliberately avoid diagnosing a male factor issue so we don’t hurt the man’s feelings

image by Sydney Sims on Unsplash

image by Sydney Sims on Unsplash

Although in theory the new concept of ‘infertile marriage’ gave equal weight to women and men, in practice few English doctors paid the same amount of attention to both partners.

Some men felt so threatened by the prospect of having to take a semen test, that they attempted suicide. Therefore one doctor argued that the risks of upsetting a sensitive man by asking him to undergo a semen test far outweighed those of unwarranted surgery on his wife.

Sometimes it was even the wife who objected to the test ‘either because she is afraid of the effect the knowledge of his infertility may have on their relationship, or because she believes that male infertility cannot be treated successfully and she prefers to live in hope rather than know the truth.’


How much progress have we actually made?

Male infertility is a really, really important issue — that simply doesn’t get enough recognition

It’s now the most common reason for couples in the UK to have IVF, according to the latest HFEA data.

And we really, really should be paying more attention.

Last year, an apocalyptic study by the Hebrew University of Jerusalem found that sperm counts in the West have more than halved over the past four decades, and are continuing to decline — but we don’t really understand why, or what to do about it.

Despite so many cutting edge advances in assisted reproductive technology, the way we approach male infertility isn’t really that dissimilar to 150 years ago.

Women are routinely undergoing IVF — even if there’s nothing wrong with their own fertility — because their infertile partners are being ignored by the medical profession.

Leading fertility expert Prof Sheena Lewis — chairwoman of the British Andrology Society — says the lack of focus on male infertility within the health system is an “urgent” problem:

Men are not being looked after properly, not diagnosed, and not cared for.

The woman actually acts as the therapy for the man’s problem. We are giving an invasive procedure to a person who doesn’t need it, in order to treat another person. That doesn’t happen in any other branch of medicine.


A couple with a male factor infertility diagnosis will be referred to a fertility clinic, where they will be treated by a gynaecologist. It’s the male partner who has the medical issue — but yet they’re sent to a specialist in women’s reproductive health.


Dr Jonathan Ramsay, a consultant urologist specialising in male fertility sees many couples who’ve undergone multiple rounds of failed IVF, where the underlying pathology was never identified and treated — rendering the treatment utterly futile.

Which sounds rather like the 1945 case mentioned above, where no one had bothered to look at the man’s sperm until 2 years of harrowing treatment down the line.

Dr Ramsay says:

What gynaecologists don’t do is look at the bloke and say, let’s do some old fashioned doctoring with you. Let’s do a few more tests. A physical examination could reveal a varicocele, for example: a varicose vein in the testicle that can overheat the sperm, yet be eliminated by a quick operation under local anaesthetic.

Or it could be that he’s obese and drinking too much. If that guy loses weight, stops drinking and just does sensible exercise, he may well get over the threshold where she gets pregnant. We need to treat the man and the sperm, ignoring half of the picture is just not sensible.


We saw above that varicoceles had been identified as a cause of male factor infertility in a medical text from 1687 — and yet in 2018 a couple may be referred for ICSI without anyone even bothering to examine the man to see if this might be a treatable issue?

How much unnecessary time, money and heartache might be saved if men were actually acknowledged as more than the sperm donor?

They deserve better. Their partners deserve better. We might have moved on from peeing on lettuce leaves in 2018, but in many ways we haven’t really moved on at all.


How you can help & have your say

Thanks so much for reading — all and any feedback is very gratefully received.

I’m currently trying to write a book that challenges the fantasy infertility narrative of endless positivity and happy endings, by sharing real women’s and men’s stories about what it’s really like to struggle with infertility and pregnancy loss. It’s a club that no-one wants to join: but knowing that you’re not alone can provide solace and support in the darkest times.


My goal is to represent as many different perspectives as possible — including the male perspective. If as a couple you’ve experienced infertility or pregnancy loss (regardless of which partner has received the infertility diagnosis, if any)— whether your journey is current or past, whether successful or not — I’d be honoured if you’d consider sharing your story anonymously. There are questionnaires for both the female and male perspective — and I’d love to hear more from the guys!

My interview with The Fertility Podcast

poddy.png

I was deeply honoured to have been invited onto The Fertility Podcast to record an interview about my infertility journey, the importance of finding your tribe for support (from other members of the club no one wants to join), and what I’m hoping to achieve with this book project (and how you can contribute by sharing your story)

The podcast went live today - fittingly on the first day of National Fertility Week , supporting this year’s theme #YouAreNotAlone

Thank you so much to Natalie at The Fertility Podcast for having me on: I really enjoyed our chat, and can’t wait to come back in a few months with updates about all the amazing stories you wonderful people are sharing.

You can listen to the podcast here, or find it on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher or Acast

And there are full details of the show notes here: The Fertility Podcast EP 158: The Notebook of Doom

Hope you enjoy! If you want to get in touch about anything in the podcast, just drop me a line, I’d love to hear from you.